


Chicken

by philsdrill



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Bad Puns, Blow Jobs, Chickens, Eggs, Hospitals, In Public, Interviews, M/M, Masturbation, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Public Masturbation, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Travel Sickness, Vibrators, Vomit, Vomiting, Work, Workplace Relationship, car sickness, phan fic, phanfic, unsafe anal practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philsdrill/pseuds/philsdrill
Summary: Dan is worried that his social anxiety is going to mess up his job interview, but that becomes the least of his problems when he gets his vibrator stuck up his butt the night before.





	Chicken

**Author's Note:**

> If you happen to have read this before, I posted this in May 2017 on tumblr. Also if anyone's interested in following me on tumblr - I'm more active on there and there's more fics - you can find me at [philsdrill](https://philsdrill.tumblr.com).
> 
> This is a weird little idea I had one morning about Dan getting a vibrator stuck up his bum, then I somehow managed to fill it with chicken/egg puns, which you can find if you look closely. Enjoy!

Dan was nervous for his job interview. He was as prepared as he could be: he’d thought about all the questions he might be asked and how he would answer them. He’d even made notes about the company in case he was expected to have any background knowledge.

Still, he couldn’t relax. Dan had tried a few things to help him relax: a warm bath, some relaxing music, a cup of tea and a good book… but nothing seemed to be doing the trick.

Dan only had one idea left, and laying back on his bed, he decided to give it a shot. He needed an orgasm, a moment of bliss, with the relaxed exhaustion that followed. He wasn’t just going to aim for a standard, hand job on the penis, kind of orgasm through. He’d been experimenting with anal play recently, having achieved a prostate orgasm a few times with his fingers, and more recently, with a new toy. He wasn’t an expert on the world of sex toys and vibrators, so he thought he’d start out small. He’d purchased this little egg shaped vibrator, not wanting to get anything he couldn’t cope with and so far, it had been amazing.

Before he started anything, Dan made sure he had everything he needed handy. He’d spread out a towel on his bed, so he could just toss the mess out of the way afterwards. He had his bottle of lube ready, his vibrator remote on the bed and he’d made sure that the strap was connected to his vibrator so he could get it back out alright. He was set to go.

As always, he started out with his fingers, applying generous amounts of lube to them and one by one, inserting them into his hole. The stretching process was easier now that he did more regularly and actually knew what he was doing. It wasn’t long before he was fucking himself on three fingers and longing for more.

Dan pulled them out and paused his actions to pay a little attention to his dick, which was now resting against his stomach, begging for friction. The lubed up had gave him just the wet warmth he was needing, as close as he was going to get at the moment to a bodily warmth around his cock. He wasn’t a top by any means, but his primal sexual desires knew what made his boner happy.

Dan stopped when he found precome forming at his tip and when the empty feeling in his rear got too much. He coated his little egg vibrator in lube, and making sure to keep the strap outside, he pushed it inside him.

When it was in just the right spot, Dan picked up the remote control, took a couple of deep breaths and turned it on. At first it was just tickling his prostate, teasing him, taunting him, but then he ground down into the mattress, rolling his hips in just the right way that it pressed into his prostate, causing him so much pleasure that he moaned very audibly.

Dan knew, however, that if he turned up the vibration speed, he could get even more pleasure out of it. When he felt he was ready, he pressed the speed up button a couple of times. The new level of pleasure was overwhelming and it was only seconds before Dan felt an orgasm pooling in his stomach.

Letting the vibrator do the work in the back shop, he allowed himself the use of both hands on his dick. They were already slippery from the lube, which made the whole process a lot easier and a lot more pleasurable. He was bucking up into his own hands, fucking them, crying out, feeling the vibrations course through his body, moaning so loudly the neighbours could probably hear…

With no one to tell, his orgasm came without warning, his body shaking, still fucking up into his hands as the cum started to spurt from his tip. With his prostate involved, it was always a lot more intense, more fluid flowing out of his dick and making him thankful he’d laid a towel down first. Eventually, he dropped his length, as it started to head back towards being flaccid. The vibrator in his rear was starting to overstimulate him, so he reached for the remote and switched it off.

Dan took a minute to recover from his orgasm before he reached down there to get the vibrator out. It never quite slipped out as easily as he’d expected, but it gave him copious amounts of pleasure, so he wasn’t complaining. He’d maybe try something else once he’d got a job and enough money to buy something better.

Dan spread his cheeks wide to make it easier, then grabbed the strap and slowly pulled. He felt it begin to move, but there was a lot more friction than he would’ve liked. The lube he put it in with must’ve dried out. He’d seen somewhere that silicon based lube would avoid that problem; he’d have to try it sometime. For now, anyway, he was stuck with water-based, so he’d just have to add some more. He paused, coating his fingers in lube and sticking them back up there to try and lubricate his passage. He brushed the egg with his fingers by accident, and lost the only progress he’d made in moving it. At least it would be easier now.

Dan dried his hand on the towel, then grabbed the vibrator strap again. He pulled it slowly, expecting it to come easier this time, and boy, was he shocked when it came flying out of him with just the tiniest tug. Relieved, he didn’t even bother to glance at the strap before shoving everything onto the floor and rolling over onto his stomach at the other side of his bed.

As he rolled, Dan felt something prod at his prostate and he paused. Was the egg still inside him? Sitting up to look at what he’d shoved onto the floor, he felt it again. He studied what he’d dumped on the floor and there was the vibrator strap, unattached. Shit.

How was he going to get it out now? Could he reach in there and grab it with his fingers? Would he have to push it out like he was going to the toilet? What could he do? Trying not to panic, although he was most certainly doing so already, Dan turned to the one place he could usually find the answer to anything. The internet.

The first results were all stories about people having gone to A&E to get them out. Dan couldn’t have that; his social anxiety was bad at the best of times, there was no way he was facing another human being with a vibrator stuck up his ass. Feeling himself panic more, as he realised that there may not be a solution, he scrolled further down the search results until he happened on some reddit forums. This was more like what he was looking for.

He couldn’t find any relating specifically to an egg-shaped vibrator, but there were certainly a number of people who’d had vibrators of some sort stuck up their butts. Some had managed to reach them with their fingers, or even barbeque tongs and some had been successful in trying to push it out as if taking a shit. Glad that there was two methods that could potentially work, Dan started with trying to fish it out with his fingers.

His rectum was still sufficiently stretched that he was able to get three fingers up there. He could feel the vibrator, and even get his fingers around it, but he just couldn’t get a grip on it. Maybe more lube hadn’t been the best idea after all. Dan made the decision to give up before he pushed it up further.

Dan made his way to the bathroom, not really wanting to do this, but not having much choice. He looked in the mirror as he passed and saw tears running down his cheeks; he hadn’t even realised he was crying.

Dan sad down on the toilet… and pushed. He pushed like his life depended on it - which maybe to some extent it did. He felt it move a tiny bit, but then when he took a break from pushing, it settled back in its original spot. More tears escaped Dan’s eyes when he realised that this wasn’t working either. He had one last idea, moving off the toilet and squatting down on his bathroom floor instead. He’d heard somewhere that squatting was meant to help you poop, so maybe, just maybe it would help him poop a vibrator out of his ass.

As he squatted, trying and failing to push the egg out of him, Dan had a realisation that he was acting like a chicken, in more ways than one. Here he was, trying to lay an egg that most certainly didn’t want to leave his body. Maybe he should just stop being a chicken and take himself to A&E.

Dan thought about it for a minute, trying to imagine how he could tell them what happened. He couldn’t. He was too socially inept to deal with the situation, ending in tears rolling down his face rather than a solution. Dan was exhausted, all he wanted was to go to bed. Maybe this would be easier to deal with in the morning.

Despite feeling that it might very well be the worst thing he could do, Dan went to bed. His anxiety was beginning to overwhelm him and he wouldn’t be able to handle the level of thinking that came with staying awake. He was terrified for his job interview tomorrow, he was worried about getting the vibrator out, and also, what if he couldn’t get the vibrator out before his job interview.

Dan went to sleep in a state of panic, but it was preferable to staying awake in a state of panic. Some part of him was convinced that he’d be able to sort it all out in the morning.

–

He couldn’t. Morning came and Dan still had a vibrator up his butt. Usually, he wasn’t much of an early bird, but he’d set his alarm earlier to give him time to sort it out. He tried everything he could think of to try and dislodge it, but nothing would work. He even tried taking a shit, but that usual part of his morning routine wasn’t happening today. Great, another thing to make his day worse. He was already starting to feel backed up and he knew that by lunchtime the urge to go would be killing him.

Dan eventually had to give up. He would have to just attend his job interview with the vibrator still in him. He couldn’t miss it. Not wanting to mess his day up even further by being late, Dan showered, downed a coffee and got himself dressed in his best suit.

Dan got on the train, feeling very self-conscious. He’d already stumbled over his words buying a ticket and nearly got one to the wrong place. The vibrator already seemed to be affecting his already limited social skills. He wondered if people could tell? He hoped not. At least it wasn’t vibrating. It pushed against his prostate now and then, which was uncomfortable, but if he was careful how he sat, then it seemed okay.

However, as the train got going and the track got a bit bumpier, it started to bother him more, rhythmically bouncing into his prostate with the rhythm of the train. Dan shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a position where it didn’t happen. The sensations were already causing his dick to stir, and he really didn’t want to be hard for his job interview, on top of everything else.

As Dan walked up to the front of the office building, he was so tempted just to chicken out and go home. He stopped and loitered outside for a couple of minutes, plucking up the courage. He knew he had to do this, he couldn’t be unemployed for much longer; he was barely scratching out a living as it was.

Finally, he put on a brave face and walked into the reception, making his way to the reception desk to explain why he was here. He’d taken off his outer coat and hung it on his arm, trying to cover his tented crotch area as inconspicuously as he could. This went unnoticed by the receptionist, which he was thankful for, as he went on to have his most coherent conversation of the morning with her. She explained which floor he needed to go to in the lift and how he would find Mr Lester’s office.

Dan repeated the floor number to himself as he made his way over to the lift. Seven. Seven. Seven. He knew his mind was clouded by what was going on his pants, but he didn’t want to face the embarrassment of forgetting or getting the wrong floor. Once he was in the lift, he pressed the button for the seventh floor and let out a sigh as the doors shut in front of him.

Thankful for the tiniest bit of privacy, even if it could be lost at any floor, Dan knew he needed to do something to hide the problem in his pants. He loosened his belt, reached down into his boxers, grabbed his dick and encouraged it to sit straight up towards his stomach. He carefully placed the waistband of his boxers back down over his shaft, pulled his trousers up a little further and tightened the belt again. He looked in the mirrored wall of the lift to assess his work. It wasn’t too bad; he didn’t think you’d be able to tell if you didn’t know. He knew it was going to be uncomfortable, but he needed the job.

Taking a deep breath, Dan stepped out of the lift and followed the rest of the receptionists directions to the boss’s office. The waistbands of his boxers and trousers were killing him as he walked, but there wasn’t anything he could do.

He stopped outside the big double door to the boss’s office, ‘Mr Philip Lester’ engraved on a metal sign on the door. He took a big deep breath to prepare himself and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a voice said from within.

Dan fumbled with the door handle, but a couple of seconds later was pushing it forwards and stepping into the colossal space that was the boss’s office. A man in smart trousers and an opened necked shirt stood behind a desk, ready to greet him. He was undeniably hot, with his chiselled features and blue eyes. He was presumably Mr Lester, but Dan felt a little intimidated as he already had the hots for him.

“Hi, I’m Mr Lester, but I prefer Phil,” he told Dan, reaching his hand out for a handshake.

“Hi…” Dan paused, “Phil… sorry I expected this to be a bit more formal?”

“Don’t worry, everyone does,” he said cheerily, shaking Dan’s hand, “I’ve tried to make the workplace a bit more casual since I’ve taken over. We go on first names, ties aren’t necessary, it’s a more pleasant environment this way.”

“I like it,” Dan said, nodding, trying to appeal as a future employee, but understanding that formal wasn’t Phil’s style.

“So,” he said, glancing at his computer screen for a second, “I have you as Daniel James Howell from your CV, but what do you like to go by?”

“I would usually use Daniel for work,” Dan told him, “But I go by Dan with my friends.”

“So Dan then?” Phil confirmed, “Does that make you feel at home.”

“It does,” Dan nodded.

“Right, take a seat,” Phil said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk, “I really need to make a more casual interviewing set-up.”

“It’s fine, this is what I’m used to,” Dan told him, wanting to show he was flexible with his environment.

“It might be what you’re used to, but it could be better couldn’t it,” Phil mused, “That’s my first question for you. How would you improve this space for interviews? And by space I mean the whole room.”

“Ummm…” Dan hesitated, glancing around the room; this was definitely different from the sort of interview he was expecting.

“I think I would use that corner over there,” Dan continued, gesturing to the corner between the glass wall and solid wall,, “Get a couple of comfy seats, open a window, maybe have a little partition from the rest of the space. If you’re going for a casual vibe, that would certainly be more comfortable and relaxed.”

“I like it,” Phil said, nodding, making a couple of notes on a piece of paper, “Okay, next question. People are usually nervous, before an interview. Were you nervous and did you do anything about it?”

“Yeah, I was,” Dan told him, “And yeah I had a bath, listened to some relaxing music, had a cup of tea and read for a bit…”

Dan stopped, feeling himself turn a bit pink as he thought about what had happened next.

Phil must have noticed his embarrassment, because he commented on it, “Oh, uh, you’re going a bit red, sorry if that invaded your privacy. I won’t ask what else you did.”

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled, feeling incredibly flustered by this hot guy almost hearing about his bedroom activities.

“Uhh, did it work though? Were you able to feel more relaxed or were you still nervous?” Phil asked.

“Sort of, it’s complicated, but yes, I was relaxed for a bit,” Dan told him, not wanting to go into detail about how he was relaxed for about two minutes before he realised that his vibrator was stuck.

“Ahh good,” Phil replied, “Sounds like you’re a good problem solver, then. What do you think you could bring to our office environment? And I’m not just meaning some problem solving skills and a nice smile, although you certainly have those, like what department do you think you would be most suited to? Are you into design? Marketing? Sales?”

“Marketing I think,” Dan told him, “I mean I’m interested in your business as a whole, and could probably do a little design, but I’m mainly into web stuff and communicating with an audience or target market.”

“Okay,” Phil said, making another note on his piece of paper, “I can see you in that. What sort of marketing things have you done in the past?”

“I ran the company facebook account for my previous job, but I got made redundant when they realised the guy doing twitter could manage both,” Dan explained, “And I’ve got some experience in web design and video making.”

“Okay, nice,” Phil said, “Sounds good, have you got any questions or concerns about potentially working in our marketing department?”

“Urm, I have quite bad social anxiety,” Dan said, suddenly stumbling over his words, “Will there be situations where I’ll have to go out in public or do presentations?”

“No, you aren’t made to do things like that unless you want to,” Phil explained, his voice calming, “And that’s something I’ll be able to mention that to the head of marketing, if that’s what you’d want.”

Dan nodded, “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Phil asked, prompting Dan, “You can take a minute to think about it if you want.”

Dan thought for a second, “How open is the office area I would be in? Like obviously I passed doors on my way in, but I wouldn’t know how big the spaces are, or like are there screens between the desks?”

“Each department has their own room, so you’d only be in with the people you work alongside,” Phil told him, “There’s not screens between the desks, at least in marketing, as last year most departments voted that they would rather not have them.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, “That’s fine.”

“I try my best to come and check on all the people in a different department every week,” Phil explained, “And make sure everyone’s feeling comfortable. Clearly, I sometimes have too much work to do, but really most of my work is just organising everyone else to do it, and in the most efficient way possible.”

Dan nodded in understanding, trying to think if there was anything else he wanted to ask about the potential job. He’d managed to answer what he’d been asked, but his situation with the vibrator and his erection was still on his mind, distracting him. So far, in the course of the interview, his situation hadn’t got any worse, but neither had it improved. The little egg was still lodged in an awkward position, brushing his prostate every so often and his dick was still flat against his stomach, constrained only by the waistband of his underwear and trousers. He’d made it this far, so hopefully he could make it out of here without his potential boss noticing.

“So I thought I’d show you a couple of videos,” Phil told Dan, “One’s just general information about our company and its policy, but first I’ll show you some of the work the marketing department has done recently. Hold on, let me turn my projector on.”

Phil opened a drawer, took out a remote, and pointed it at the projector which was mounted on a pole hanging down from the ceiling. He pressed the on button and an image of a computer desktop appeared on the screen.

Dan’s focus was quickly lost, when suddenly the little egg started to vibrate a little within him. Fuck. Now was not the time. He didn’t know it could malfunction in such a way that it could turn itself on. He really hoped it might turn itself back off, but that would be even more unlikely.

Dan barely noticed as Phil opened up his file browser and selected a video. He clicked play on the video, but at first it was barely audible. Phil reached for the remote and pressed the volume up a good few times.

Dan jumped, as his vibrator suddenly picked up about five settings in speed and intensity. At least he couldn’t hear it over the video, but oh god, it was getting him in just the right spot, and boy, was that the last thing he needed.

Dan couldn’t spare one ounce of focus for the video, instead, biting his lip and trying not to squirm as it vibrated. He could feel his already turned on self getting closer to an orgasm… and well, that couldn’t happen here.

Despite his clouded thoughts, it suddenly crossed his mind what had happened. Phil’s projector remote must be on the same frequency as his vibrator’s. Fuck.

Everything was so intense, that Dan couldn’t help but letting out a pained sounding moan, “Ahhh.”

Phil heard this immediately, turning to look at his interviewee and realising that something was wrong. Dan was red in the face, a little sweaty and looked uncomfortable.

Phil hit the spacebar on his keyboard to pause the video, and looked over at Dan, “Are you feeling okay?”

Dan shook his head, feeling tears spilling down his face as a result of what was happening, “P-please… turn off your projector.”

Confused, Phil reached for the remote and pressed the off button. Dan was met with instant relief, but Phil was still puzzled about why the man opposite him was red in the face and crying.

“Dan, what’s wrong? Do you need to go home?” Phil asked, staying calm and trying to be comforting as he knew something wasn’t right.

“I got my vibrator stuck up my bum last night and I think your projector remote must be on the same frequency, because it was all fine and then you turned it on and…” Dan blurted, suddenly giving in to sobbing at the end.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Phil said, after thinking for a moment in stunned silence, “Let’s go through to my little private sitting room and I’ll see whether I can help you out with this, okay.”

Phil gave Dan a hand up from the seat and supported the shaking man as they made their way to the little sitting room off the side of Phil’s office. It had a couple of sofas, a small chest of drawers and a bathroom off it. Phil turned the thumb-turn lock behind him and deposited Dan on one of the sofas, then knelt down in front of him, “So I understand, you have a vibrator up your butt. Was it getting you in just the right spot?”

Dan nodded timidly.

“So you’re feeling pretty turned on?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded again. He could feel Phil’s eyes on the front of his trousers now and felt pretty embarrassed about what he was seeing.

“Can I help you?” Phil asked, placing his hand on Dan’s chest, suggestively.

“Okay,” Dan said, blushing a little, not quite believing what was happening.

He wasn’t going to lie, the idea of Phil helping him with his little problem was a hot one, but he was a bit nervous. He didn’t really know what had happened to his job interview, but at the moment he didn’t really care; he just needed a release.

Phil’s hand on his shirt started to slowly make its way down the buttons, undoing them one by one. Soon enough, Dan’s jacket and shirt were being pushed back, leaving his stomach and chest bare. Dan squirmed as Phil played with his nipples, the sensation going straight to his dick.

Phil trailed his hands down Dan’s stomach, giving him the half-naked man goosebumps across his upper-body. Phil was good with his hands, Dan thought, as they arrived on the crotch of his pants and found his dick, rubbing it through the two layers of fabric, but still giving him a lot of pleasure. Unable to control himself, Dan bucked up into Phil’s hands, seeking more friction.

Phil brought his hand to Dan’s belt buckle and paused, “Okay to take these and your underwear down?”

“Fuck, yes,” Dan said, finding it hard to contain his lust.

Phil undid the belt and gracefully pulled Dan’s trousers down to his knees. He followed suit with Dan’s boxers, gently pulling them down and letting his erection spring free. Dan let out a sigh of relief at the freedom he had been craving, but the freedom was only satisfying for seconds as he needed to be touched.

Dan reached down and wrapped his hand around it, starting with a couple of slow pumps to satisfy his need. Phil batted his hand away seconds later, replacing it with his own.

“I’m guessing your prostate is feeling rather abused, would I be right?” Phil asked, “Shall we just do this the traditional way?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, “It’s had enough stimulation to last me for a while.”

Phil started to move his hand up and down Dan’s dick, slowly at first, but then picking up a rhythm as Dan got into it. There was no doubt that he was close, so it wasn’t long before Dan started to tremble as his orgasm approached him.

Phil stopped, took his hand away and stepped back. Dan whined at the loss, looking up at Phil with pleading eyes.

“Hold on,” Phil said, dropping to his knees, “I’m gonna suck you off.”

The feeling of Phil’s mouth on his dick was overwhelming, and Dan soon became a writhing mess, struggling to keep himself quiet enough for being in an office building. Phil licked strips up and down his length, bobbing his head up and down and moving with Dan. When Dan warned him that his orgasm was imminent, Phil sank all the way down, deep throating and sucking around Dan. He did his best to swallow all of Dan’s cum when he came, but inevitably, he was left with the odd white streak hanging from his chin.

As Dan lay panting, coming down from his high, Phil wiped clean his chin, then came and sat down next to Dan. He was certainly turned on from the affair, and had to reach into his boxers to adjust his hardening length. Phil would have loved to get himself off, or even have Dan get him off, but there were more important things to do in that moment. His potential employee was in a bit of a state and might possibly need a trip to A&E. He waited for a couple of minutes before he brought it up, letting Dan recover from his high.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked gently, “Better now you’re no longer about to come in your pants?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, reaching to pull his underwear back up, “Sorry about all of this. I guess I should be going.”

Dan knew he wouldn’t be getting this job. He’d tried so hard, but like all things in his life, it had gone drastically wrong. He was running out of jobs to apply to. People had always told him not to put all of his eggs in one basket, and he hadn’t, but this had been his last basket. Dan sighed; he was glad Phil had been so kind, but he’d embarrassed himself, he wouldn’t be able to show face here again.

“No, no, you can stay,” Phil said hurriedly, “You’ve still got a bit of an unresolved situation going on with that vibrator, and if anything, I’d like the peace of mind to know you got it out okay.”

“Uhh, okay, but I honestly have no idea how I’m gonna get it out,” Dan said, miserably.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what all have you tried already?” Phil asked calmly, putting his hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“I tried putting more lube up there to try and help it slide out, but I couldn’t get a grip on it. I tried to push it out like I was taking a dump, but that didn’t work. Couldn’t even go for my morning poop this morning, it’s like properly stuck,” Dan explained.

“You want to give it another shot?” Phil asked, nodding in the direction of his bathroom door, “I’ve got a nice little bathroom through there; I can leave you alone for ten minutes if you want.”

“That would be good, actually,” Dan said to Phil, knowing how much he needed to take a shit and feeling that he should at least give it a shot since this opportunity had presented to him.

“Great,” Phil said, “I’ll leave you to it, but just shout if you need anything. I think there’s lube in the cabinet if that helps.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, holding onto his trousers so they didn’t fall to the floor and making his way to the bathroom.

He didn’t stop to ask Phil why he had lube in his office bathroom. He just accepted the fact and got on with it. Dan shut the door behind him, found the lube, took it to the toilet and got to work. The sooner he got it out, the better; he was already feeling backed up and was starting to get those pains in his stomach which told him he really had to go.

Phil managed to sit down and focus on some paperwork for about two minutes before he wondered how Dan was getting on. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t try and check on him for at least ten minutes, so he remained in his office chair, spinning around as he tried to hatch a plan for if Dan couldn’t get it out.

Being his own boss, Phil was able to drop his afternoon’s work if he wanted and he was planning to do just that. He could take Dan to A&E and make sure they got the vibrator out for him. If Dan wasn’t sucessful himself, Phil was going to do just that.

Phil wasn’t quite sure why he was so invested in this potential employee. Maybe it was the cute dimple and fluffy brown hair; maybe it was the deep brown eyes and the smile which just made him die inside. Anyway, Phil had known this man less than an hour and already given him a blowjob. It wasn’t his usual work ethic to get that intimate with his interviewees, but there was something about Dan that just struck a chord. Dan didn’t know it yet, but he was going to get the job.

After ten minutes had passed, Phil felt that it was finally acceptable to go and see how he was doing. He stepped into his small sitting room and stopped outside the bathroom door.

“Dan,” he said, knocking twice on the wood, “How’re getting on? Any luck?”

“No,” replied Dan’s voice miserably, from inside the bathroom, “It’s well and truly stuck.”

“I think you need to go to A&E,” Phil said firmly, “Before you hurt yourself from trying too hard.”

“But…” Dan started, about to make some comment about his social anxiety.

“No buts, I’m taking you,” Phil said, “I know it’s embarrassing, but you have to get this sorted out.”

Phil waited for a response, only to be met with silence.

“C’mon, get yourself presentable, come back out here and I’ll get a taxi organised,” Phil told him.

“Alright,” Dan gave in, getting up from the toilet and starting to make himself presentable again.

Meanwhile, Phil was on his phone, organising an Uber to be ready at the front door of the office in five minutes time. Dan appeared a couple of minutes later, looking a little dishevelled, but still presentable. He was red in the face; Phil wondered whether it was still from the embarrassment of the situation, or if he’d been straining too hard.

“I’m sorry about all of this… you don’t need to come with me,” Dan said, stumbling over his words a little, “I can get in the taxi and go to A&E by myself.”

“Dan, I’m coming with you and that’s final,” Phil said firmly, putting his hand on Dan’s lower back and guiding him out of the small sitting room and through the main office, “I know it’s a bit weird for me to say this after not knowing you very long, but _I care_.”

“Umm thanks,” Dan replied, as they stepped out of Phil’s office and into the corridor where he had hovered nervously less than an hour before.

On the way along the corridor to the lift, Phil knocked on a door and poked his head into one of his colleague’s offices, “Just to say I’m heading out for a bit, in case anyone’s looking for me. Got some personal matters to attend to; it might be late afternoon before I’m back.”

The colleague thanked Phil for telling him, then let him get on his way. Dan and Phil made their way down to the lobby in the lift, where they both signed out of the building and headed for the taxi, which was now waiting outside. No one made comment about the two of them leaving together, which Phil was thankful for. There were a few older employees who didn’t completely approve how he run the company and he didn’t want them to get word of this. Although it shouldn’t really be suspicious, people had a habit of taking things in the wrong way.

The journey to A&E was an interesting one, for Dan at least. Similar to what he’d found with the train, the bumps in the road were making things a little uncomfortable for him. He tried his best to find a better position, but again it was proving a challenge. He just begged the journey would be over quickly, because he was already uncomfortably overstimulated and didn’t want to cum in his pants on top of everything else.

Phil, on the other hand, was having his own issues. Despite being in his late twenties and being a smartly-dressed businessman, he still had the stomach of a small child when it came to bumpy roads. He tried to focus on the horizon ahead and take deep breaths, but it wasn’t helping his nausea that much. Usually, he would know exactly when he’d be in cars to meetings and would set alarms to take his travel-sickness tablets before, but everything had been so spontaneous today, and with worrying about Dan, he’d completely forgotten.

It was when Phil asked the taxi driver to open the windows, that Dan broke out of his own thoughts and noticed Phil wasn’t looking so good, “Phil are you feeling okay?”

“Feelin’ a bit carsick,” Phil explained, his voice a bit muffled by the air billowing in through the window.

“D’you want me to ask him to pull over?” Dan asked Phil, referring to the driver.

“I think I’ll be okay… if I just keep my head out the window…” Phil said, pausing to take a deep breath, “Could you check google maps for how much longer?”

“Okay,” Dan said, getting his phone out and waiting for it to load, “Let me know if you feel worse though, yeah.”

Phil agreed, but his weak voice got lost on the wind. Eventually google maps loaded on Dan’s phone and he was able to inform Phil that it would only be another three minutes. Phil replied with an extremely wobbly-sounding okay, then proceeded to remain with his head half-out the window for the rest of the journey.

Dan sat next to him, watching on in concern. Even despite not knowing him that well, Dan could tell that Phil was on the verge of throwing up. His skin, which although fairly pale earlier, was now a pasty green. Dan kept quiet, letting Phil focus on himself. They were now turning into the hospital car park, so it wouldn’t be long before they could get out of the car.

When the taxi drew to a halt at the drop, they were both out of their as quickly as possible, thanking the driver as they went. Dan made his way around the car to meet Phil on the pavement, only to find that he was kneeling in a flowerbed instead.

Before Dan could figure out whether he had just been sick or was about to be, Phil bent forwards and unleashed a torrent into the bush in front of him. Dan approached him slowly, unsure how to deal with the situation; something told him to try and comfort him, maybe rub his back, but on the other hand, they’d only just met and Phil was the boss of the company he’d just had an interview for.

Concern washing over him when Phil threw up again, Dan listened to his instincts and crouched down next to him, placing a hand on his back. Dan knew it must be a strange sight, two six foot, well dressed men crouching in a flower bed together, but any onlookers would just have to deal with it.

When it was over, Phil shuffled back from the flowerbed onto the tarmac behind them. For a minute, he just sat on the ground, looking rather unwell. Moving to remain next to Phil, Dan sat down beside him, ignoring the discomfort that shot through him as he put pressure on his rear.

“Phil, maybe its best for you to go home,” Dan suggested, “You know, get some rest, that’ll help you feel better.”

“Honestly, if my bed was right here I would do just that,” Phil said, “But there’s no way I’m getting back in any sort of moving vehicle at the moment. I need a while to feel better, so I might as well accompany you.”

Once Phil was back on his feet, albeit still green and now a little shaky, the pair of them made their way towards the A&E entrance. People were going to think that it was Phil who was needing hospital care rather than Dan; he certainly looked worse, even vulnerable. Dan had to restrain himself from trying to put an arm around Phil, having to settle for just walking close by his side. They paused outside the door before they went in, Dan making sure that Phil now had his stomach under control and Phil making sure that Dan was ready to explain his issue.

To be honest, Dan felt like he would never be truly ready to admit to what had happened, but for some reason, with Phil by his side, he felt a little more confident about it. As they made their way to the reception Dan prepared himself to explain his complaint.

He stumbled over his words. Of course he did. Dan had felt humiliated enough by having to explain that he had a vibrator stuck up his butt, but of course his social anxiety had to make things worse. He was red in the face and he could almost feel the sweat dripping off his hands. Finally, the lady at the desk had finished interrogating him and told them to go and take a seat.

However, Dan had one thing on his mind to ask her. He didn’t know how he managed it so clearly with everything else going on his head, but he managed to ask the question, “D’you have a water cooler or something in here?”

“Yeah, there’s one just around that corner,” she said pointing to a wall that jutted out into the room.

Dan told Phil to sit down, then went and got him a cup of water. He was still looking a bit green and Dan knew it would be exactly what he needed. Dan sat down next to him, knowing it might be a while before he got seen to. As his problem wasn’t really all that time critical, they’d probably be placed quite far down the pecking order.

The people at risk of dying would be taken first, then those whose problems were more serious, then maybe finally, they would get to the likes of Dan who had just got themselves into a bit of a sticky situation.

Ten minutes had passed and they were still waiting. Phil was looking and feeling a little better now that he’d had some water and a seat on a chair which wasn’t moving. Dan was wondering if maybe he’d be taken soon, as the numbers in the waiting room were starting to decrease. That was until he heard the approaching siren, a trolley being rushed in, and talks amongst the staff of cardiac arrest. That put a further delay on their wait, most of the A&E department rushing to help with the emergency.

In the end, it was half an hour before Dan was seen, which going by some A&E horror stories, wasn’t actually too bad. He got taken through to a room, where he was handed a hospital gown and told to change into it.

Phil was able to come with Dan, after a little quizzing from the staff, “What relation are to Mr Howell?”

“I’m his boss,” Phil had explained, knowing that Dan would presume he had just said it to get in.

“We only allow family and partners to accompany the patient,” Phil had been told.

“He’s coming,” Dan had said firmly, pulling Phil into the room with them.

Once Dan had changed into the gown behind the curtain, the doctor invited him to sit down on the bed while he explained what was going to happen.

“You have a vibrator stuck in your rectum, I understand?” the Doctor confirmed with Dan.

Dan nodded, his cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

“Okay, we’re going to conduct an ultrasound to get an idea of the location and how we’re best to proceed,” the doctor informed him.

Dan was instructed to lay down on the bed, where he was coated in a cold gel and rubbed with an ultrasound scanner. At this point, Dan no longer cared about his modesty. Phil had seen it all already, and the doctors were, well doctors; they saw that sort of thing every day.

A second doctor was called in for a discussion, and between them, they decided that the best way to get it out was through the same hole it had gone in. Putting on gloves and applying a lubricant to them, they started to stretch Dan’s hole wide enough to gain access with their tongs. The stretching process went fine for Dan; he was used to that. It was a bit different with doctors doing it rather than himself, but he could deal with that.

The tongs were another matter; although they were surgical tongs, designed to be used within the body, Dan wasn’t sure he really fancied them up his butt. As he expected from seeing them, the sensation was rather uncomfortable, the two cold metal shafts pushing his sensitive walls apart.

Not really giving a fuck, it wasn’t as if he was going to see him again anyway, Dan reached for Phil’s hand, needing someone to give him at least a little comfort.

“You’re doing great,” Phil told him, squeezing Dan’s hand, “Hey, look at me, not them.”

Dan turned his attention, to look Phil in the eyes.

“It’s going to feel weird, but it’ll be okay,” Phil reassured him, “I’m sure it won’t take long.”

Continuing to try and distract Dan, Phil asked him a few questions and they got to know each other a little better. After a few attempts, the doctors managed to secure their tongs around the vibrator and started to slowly pull it back out of him.

Dan bit down on his lips as the now wider tongs scraped their way back along his passage. It wasn’t causing him much pain, but he’d been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours and a few tears spilled from his eyes.

Phil resisted the urge to reach out and brush his tears away; that would be a bit weird. Instead, he focused on holding Dan’s hand and being as reassuring as he could be.

When the doctor’s finally pulled it free, Dan broke down into sobs, emotionally exhausted. He immediately closed the gap between his legs and pulled his knees to his chest, ignoring the empty pain in his ass.

“D'you want to be alone for a couple of minutes, Daniel?” one of the doctor’s asked, making a signal to the other.

“Yeah, but with Phil,” Dan responded weakly, “Thanks.”

The two Doctors left the room and shut the door behind him. They didn’t need to be in the same room as Dan to discuss his discharge. On the other hand, Dan really needed a couple of minutes alone to get himself together. At first, Phil wasn’t really sure whether he should be there, but when seconds later Dan was caving into his arms, he knew it was okay.

Maybe it should’ve felt wrong, hugging him, but Phil couldn’t get over how _right_ it felt. There was definitely some chemistry between him and Dan; there was no doubt about that.

“You’re okay; it’s all over now,” Phil mumbled, almost incoherently, into Dan’s scalp.

Phil could tell that Dan wasn’t deeply upset or panicky about anything, he was just overwhelmed. Phil himself wasn’t a sufferer of social anxiety, but he knew that if he was in this situation he’d be feeling a bit awkward and wanting to go home.

“The sooner we get those two back in, the sooner you can go home,” Phil told Dan, “I’m guessing that’s all you want right now.”

Dan nodded, tears slowing down as Phil showed a little understanding of how he felt. Phil managed to catch the eye of one of the doctor’s through the glass panel in the door and give them a thumbs up.

At that, they came back in, one with a clipboard and the other with a box of some kind of medication.

“Okay, that’s you all sorted out; how are you feeling?” The first doctor asked Dan.

“Okay,” Dan said, “Like a little sore and a little emotional and I really need the bathroom as I haven’t gone since yesterday morning and…”

Phil paused him by putting a hand on his chest, “Breathe… you were starting to go blue.

“Okay, you might be feeling a bit tender down there for a couple of days,” the second doctor explained, “We don’t want you to cause any further damage to your rectum by straining, so we’re going to prescribe you stool softeners for the next four days just to make things a bit easier.”

“Umm okay,” Dan agreed, blushing furiously, “What do I do?”

“You take one tablet and it’ll take effect in anywhere between half an hour and six hours,” the doctor explained, “It’s quite a low dose we’ve got for you, but as you haven’t been since yesterday it probably won’t be much more than an hour.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, “I think I can manage that.”

“Now before you go, good on you for coming here,” the doctor said, praising him, “It’s as rare as hen’s teeth for people to actually own up to situations like this and get help. You did the right thing, as this could’ve seriously damaged your insides. Now a little advice for next time: choose a toy that is appropriate for your anatomy. Don’t just try winging it with a toy designed for vaginal use. Your rectum will try and keep things in, so you should get something with a flared base so it can’t get stuck.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, feeling his face heating up further, “I’ll be more careful.”

The doctors told Dan that that was him good to go. They let him draw the curtain around himself to get redressed and then directed him and Phil to the sign out desk when he was ready. Dan clutched the box of pills in one hand, feeling a sense of loss in the other as it was no longer acceptable for him to be holding Phil’s hand.

Once Dan had signed out, they stepped back outside into the hospital car park. Neither of them had particularly thought about how they were going to get back to their respective destinations from here. Dan was just so glad to get that over with; he felt as free as a bird, soaring away from his troubles. Okay, maybe it was a bit embarrassing but it was worth it.

Spotting the bush that Phil had thrown up in earlier, Dan wondered how he would be getting home. How far away did he live? Would be want to be in another car?

“How are you getting home?” Dan asked, “I’m guessing you don’t really fancy a taxi.”

“Well I’m going back to the office, but I thought I’d walk to the nearest train station,” Phil explained, “And yeah, I’m not sure if I can stomach any more cars today.”

“You sure you’re feeling okay to go back to work?” Dan asked, a little concerned as Phil had most certainly not been in a state to work when they arrived.

“I’ll be fine, like I’ve thrown up on the way to business meetings before. As much as I hate it, I’m pretty used to dealing with this,” Phil explained.

“Alright, well I’ll come with you on the train,” Dan told Phil, “My stop’s between here and your office.”

Despite a little protesting from Phil that Dan should get himself a taxi, soon enough they were on the train together. Phil picked out the one carriage with a toilet, so Dan was guessing that despite insisting he was feeling better, maybe Phil still wasn’t feeling all that good.

They talked for a little while and things got back to the subject of the interviewing process that Phil was currently undertaking to hire new staff members.

“So are you doing interviews all week?” Dan asked Phil, curious about how he was going about it.

“Well I just have two vacancies left: one in finances and resource management,” Phil explained, “So I’ve got a few more interviews do for them. Oh by the way, I’ve decided, you’re hired!”

“What, seriously!?” Dan said shocked, “I thought I’d majorly messed that up. Umm thanks!?”

“You have the potential I’m looking for and we’re getting on well, which is ideal,” Phil explained, “And I have no rules about inter-colleague relationships so it’s not as if what we did violated any rules.”

“Oooh that’s great,” Dan said, “I’m actually really looking forward to working for you. I love your work ethic and I feel like this is gonna be the best place I’ve ever worked.”

“Why, thank you,” Phil said, cheerily, “I hope it lives up to your expectations. We’ll be in contact in a few days about your start date. Now I’ll have your number in your application, but could I give you mine in case you have any questions? You can just call me if you need to.”

Dan handed Phil his phone to let him type it in. He knew this was technically in a professional sense, but some part of him was more than excited to be getting Phil’s number. Despite Dan loving his casual attitude, maybe it wasn’t the best thing in the world, as Dan hadn’t even started work yet and he already had a crush on his boss.

As the train approached Phil’s stop and he realised that he was soon to leave Dan, that was when the concern washed over him, “Do you live alone? Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Dan said, “Like I need some alone time to go to the bathroom and then I need to let my social batteries recharge, so a few hours by myself is just what I need right now.”

“Alright, sure,” Phil said, “Mind if I call you later to see how you’re doing, though?”

“Yeah, that’s fine… would be nice,” Dan said, stumbling over his words a little as he didn’t want to sound either ungrateful or too forward.

When the train pulled into the station, Phil wished Dan a goodbye and headed off towards his office. He was expecting it to be quite an easy afternoon, that was until he saw a pile of papers lying next to his desk. It took him a minute of frantically clicking though his calendar to find when he was meant to have them sent off by and the answer was yesterday. So Phil spent his afternoon running around his office, frantically trying to get all the information he needed to get the paperwork finished and sent off today.

Phil technically finished at five, sometimes earlier if he got all of his work done, but today wasn’t one of those days. It was quarter to six before he finally got all the paperwork sealed into an envelope. He was too late to catch the post now, so he decided to deliver it himself, complete with an apology note. Phil tidied up his office, shutting down his computer for the night and only in the process of doing that remembering to get Dan’s number from his application. Phil had really wanted to phone him to see how he was doing, but his afternoon had been hectic to say the least.

Phil popped some travel-sickness tablets and took a taxi to the office where he needed to deliver the paperwork. Fortunately, the doors were still open and he was able to put it on the receptionists desk. That would get it to the right person in the morning.

Phil left the building, feeling rather relieved. He was going to walk to the nearest train station and head home. It was quite a walk, so maybe he’d take this opportunity to call Dan and see how he was doing.

Dan picked up the phone after a couple of rings, greeting Phil with a cheerful hello.

“How’re you doing?” Phil asked, “I’ve just got out of work because I spent the afternoon running around like a headless chicken, trying to finish some paperwork that I’d forgotten about.”

“Oh god, sorry for distracting you from that earlier,” Dan apologised. “I’m doing okay; I think I’m feeling the best I’ve felt all day. I took the tablets and went to the bathroom and everything’s good.”

“Ooh that’s great,” Phil said, “You got much in the way of plans for the evening?”

“I think I’m gonna treat myself to some takeaway pizza, then later on, have a bath with a cup of tea,” Dan explained his plans to Phil.

“Would you like some company for a bit?” Phil asked, “And I’ll buy you pizza.”

“You don’t need to buy me pizza, but some company would be nice for a little while,” Dan explained.

Dan stopped talking suddenly, wondering why he had done that. Usually his social anxiety was too bad to even consider talking to people, never mind having them over to his flat.

“I’m sorry if it’s a bit untidy or if I’m a bit awkward,” Dan stuttered, “I’m not sure my social batteries have completed recharged yet.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said understanding, “Now I know I’m not far off because the station I was heading for is your local one, but whereabouts do you live?”

Dan told Phil his road name and flat number, only to be met with an exclamation from Phil, “No way!? That’s the road I’m on?! I was just delivering some paperwork to an office nearby.”

“Wow nice,” Dan said, “I’d better tidy up a little; you can’t be far away.”

With a few directions from Dan, Phil was soon heading for his flat. Dan opened the door with a smile and an apology about being in his pyjamas. He hadn’t quite been able to summon the energy to change into something else. Phil had seen him in less anyway, it couldn’t matter that much.

Phil, on the other hand, was a little overwhelmed by how cute and relaxed Dan looked in his pjs. He embraced Dan in a brief hug, but other than that was able to resist physical contact with him. They sat comfortably together on Dan’s sofa for a while, until Phil suggested that he would order pizza for both of them.

Dan had a medium pizza and Phil, a small. Phil didn’t want to worry Dan by telling him, but he hadn’t completely recovered from his earlier bout of carsickness. He was just going to take things easy and not eat too much. Phil insisted that the pizza was on him, despite Dan interjecting that he didn’t have to.

As they sat down to eat, their conversation became more lighthearted and soon they were cracking up over Phil’s silly puns and Dan’s life fails. They got on well for having just met and Phil was looking forward to working with him in the future.

Phil began to feel like he was overstaying his welcome when he noticed Dan yawning and looking like he was about to fall asleep. Phil left Dan with a lingering hug and a reminder to take care of himself and have the cup of tea and cosy bath he’d mentioned earlier on. Dan nodded into Phil’s chest and promised he would do just that.

When Phil got home, he headed straight for bed, the only thing on his mind being the fluffy brown-haired man with the cute dimple that had occupied so much of his day. Phil was looking forward to more than just working with Dan - he sensed that the two of them had the potential to build a relationship in more than just a professional sense.

Back in his flat, now swathing himself in fluffy towels after a satisfying soak, Dan was thinking about Phil. It was a pleasant surprise to actually get the job and that made him like Phil a whole lot more; that he’d accepted Dan’s flaws and only seen the positives. Dan was so thankful that he hadn’t chickened out of going to the interview. Okay, he’d been walking on eggshells at first, when he didn’t know how Phil would react, but he’d made it through in one piece.

As Phil had promised, it was only a couple of days before the company got in touch with Dan about his start date. Dan immediately loved his job and Phil was always there to listen to any of his concerns. His social anxiety didn’t get in the way too much. His new team quickly learned that he wasn’t into doing presentations but he would contribute well in a small group.

Dan remained very close with Phil; in fact they got even closer. They were yet to put a label on it, but most would have called it ‘boyfriends’. They tried their best to keep most of their bedroom activities to their bedrooms, but Phil’s little sitting room off his office did have its uses. However, they did try to keep it private from the rest of the employees, as Phil knew there were some older employees who didn’t quite agree with his morals.

In the few months that followed their meeting, Phil’s company was doing extremely well, with their marketing team being successful in bringing in large numbers of new clients. Phil had to go on a fair number of business trips as a result, but Dan had bought himself a new set of toys for when he had to satisfy his needs alone. This time he’d made sure to purchase ones that were safe for his own anatomy; he didn’t want to end up with any other embarrassing situations.

With Phil’s increased amount of travel, his travel sickness became a bigger issue in his life. Dan did his best to remind him to take his tablets, but there was the odd occasion where Phil would turn up at his door, fresh off a flight, needing someone to look after him. It wasn’t always an option but Dan accompanied Phil whenever he could.

Dan learnt to take opportunities and do his best to push his social anxiety aside. If he had chickened out of his job interview, where would be now? Probably still unemployed and single… and who knows how long it would have taken him to rid himself of that egg. Dan was no chicken anymore.


End file.
